Development and Deathbeds

Development and Deathbeds
Photo by Илья Мельниченко / Unsplash

Hey all,

In last week's email, I made a comment about doing things that you wouldn't regret on your deathbed, but I've been thinking about it, and that comment was wrong. You see, the fallacy I fell into for a moment was thinking that the version of me on my deathbed knew how best to live the current me's life.

I think we fall into this fallacy a lot - believing that other versions of ourselves know what we should do with our lives in the present, letting them advise us on the best decisions to make at any given moment.

But in reality, that's not true. Just because you had a dream or values when you were a kid doesn't mean those are the best dreams or values to guide your current life. Just because deathbed-you wished you worked harder or kept on pursuing theatre doesn't mean they considered the mental, physical, or economic factors that pushed you to hang out with your friends or eventually walk away from some of your artistic dreams.

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Instead, I'd argue that you should treat past and future you less like trusted advisors and more like strangers.

Because that's what they are.

They don't know you, and their judgment is tainted by the characteristics you project onto them.

15-year-old you, 30-year-old you, and 80-year-old you aren't the same. They have different struggles on their minds, live in different worlds, and don't know who you are. For all we know, 80-year-old you might be regretting getting a brain implant; not partying too hard in college, or dropping your asshole rich friend. It's alright, if you think it's right, party hard and let him go.

Instead, focus on what's proven to give you happiness according to research: focus on relationships and experiences, interact with strangers, make a stable income, practice acceptance, and perfect the small things like shortening your commute or developing your hobbies. If you're ambitious, nail down your goals and pursue them. If you want to, work towards making the world a better place. Do whatever you feel is right, and learn from your mistakes.

And hey, if deathbed-you or teenage-you are still nagging to work a little harder or be more authentic, you can always try it and see how it goes. But ultimately, it should be you-you deciding whether their ideas were good or not.

Like, did you enjoy accomplishing that goal (or the journey to it)? Do you think that extra hour of studying was worth it? Is killing yourself to write code worth the lifestyle an extra $10k a year will get you?

Nobody knows but you. So trust yourself. And if you don't, at least trust me because I trust you. Or believe in the me that believes in you.

Anyways, that's all I've got for this week. If you got this far, I hope you found this email interesting or at least somewhat helpful, and I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read what I wrote today.

Have a great week!

-Ethan


Things I'm Enjoying:

📚 Books - I've been finishing up How to Take Smart Notes by Sönke Ahrens for the past couple of weeks, and I think it's a really good read. I'm trying to change my whole notetaking/idea generation system to accommodate the slip box system. I'm not sure how well it'll work for science and math because they are less creative subjects, but I'm hoping to make some new, interesting connections between the subjects.

👨‍💻 Tech - This is kind of an expensive pick, but my university has a 3D printer, and it's amazing how many random products you can create that would cost $5-20 on Amazon. So, if you have the means, I'd pick one up ($300-500) for like a decent printer.

💻 Website - printables.com - Kind of along with the tech pick, printables is one of the best places to get professional to semi-professional 3D models to print. I also like it because it can give insight into how to design products for consumers, albeit on a smaller scale.